As much as I think that women are the greatest thing to walk on this earth since sliced bread, I also do think that most women can be extremely stupid sometimes – especially when they’re in love. On this day, the 8th anniversary of my marriage, I would like to give a few pieces of advice to married women. Something for them to ponder and see if there is some truth in them…
Married Women Should Continue Working Even After They’re Married
WORK! Never stop working. Take a short break if you want but never ever stop working and be a SAHM. Even if it’s a part-time job or a freelance job, keep yourself gainfully employed. Reasons being, if you’re earning an income, you would be spending your own money. So you don’t feel like you’re dependent on him all the time. Also, you could save money for those rainy days and in case of divorce, you’ll be financially-independent and would get the custody of the kids straight away. As I mentioned before in my previous blog post, I do know of some married women who stays in a marriage, despite knowing their hubbies are having an affair, due to financial constraints. Being financially-independent would allow you to exercise the right to leave in this kinda situation.
And if you’re working, you WOULD bother to keep up appearances and wouldn’t look like a dowdy housewife all the time. Imagine this, the hubby goes to work, meets smartly-dressed office girls and well-groomed clients all the time. Then when he gets home, this image welcomes him at the door :
The Housewife
VERSUS
The Colleague
I rest my case.
Married Women Should Continue Upgrading Even After They’re Married
UPGRADE YOURSELF! Use his money to take a course or something. So even if the marriage is no longer valid, you could use your newfound qualifications to find a job and support yourself and the kids. It need not be an academic qualification, it could be just a useful skill that would allow you to earn an income.
Don't take this long to get that cert!
Married Women Should Always Maintain Their Close Circles of Friends
KEEP FRIENDS! Families are important but so are friends. Once you’re dumped, your whole world would come crashing down. Family friends who used to be close to both of you may feel awkward just mingling with you alone without him. So that’s when your own group of girlfriends would come in handy. You know they will always be there for you. You know they will always take your side when you bitch about your ex and you know that they will love you for what you are. So make an effort to keep them even though you’re married. You’d never know when you might need a shoulder to cry on.
With friends like these, who needs men?
Married Women Should Always Set Some Free Time for Themselves
TAKE A BREAK! Being a wife and a mum (especially full-time ones) can be very taxing. It’s okay to take one night off a week to pamper yourself. Chill out with friends, go for a nice dinner, get a mani and pedi, watch a concert etc. Do whatever you want to make yourself feel better. One night away from your kids or husband does not make you a bad wife and mother. On the contrary, it might make you a better one, cos’ you’ll feel so re-energised after that one night that you can handle your daily roles better. So go on, give yourself a break without feeling any guilt.
Have a break. Have a Kit-Kat. Guilt-free.
Married Women Should Realise That Their Marriage May Not Last Forever
IT’S NOT! And the sooner you accept this, the easier it will be when it ends. I think only married women would understand what I’m talking about. Marriage is not a fairy-tale. There’s a lot of giving in, sacrifices, heartache and pain. Of cos’ it’s not all bad. There are some bliss too, that is, if you dig deep under. Ha Ha! Joking! The intangibles that comes with marriage life, like stability, kids, building a life together, someone to share your life with are the reasons why so many people still bother to take that plunge despite the ravines being full of spikes.
But the problem is, most women goes into a marriage expecting everything to go on smoothly – the men would be all hunky-dory, the kids will turn out well-behaved, the household expenses would be manageable and they would still have extra money to splurge on shopping month every etc. In reality, none of that could be further from the truth. The men would grow bald and pot-bellied, the kids would sometimes make you wish that you shouldn’t have sex to conceive them in the first place and the money is never enough. And all these explain why nowadays marriages don’t last beyond 2 years. The shock of discovering the truth about their pre-conceived fairy tale marriages is too much for them to bear. And they would start to plan their escape route within months.
So ladies, I’m not saying don’t get married (actually I am saying that as my girl friends would vouch. LOL!), I’m just saying, go into it with your eyes open and try to hang on even when the going gets tough. And that’s a piece of sagely advice from a not-so-sagely-married-for-8-years woman. (Man that’s long!)
Your Prince Charming won't age as gracefully as McDreamy
And yes,
‘HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, HONEY!’
Disclaimer : When I say it’s the end of the marriage, it does not mean just divorce, it could also mean the death of a spouse. Whatever the situation is, you must be able to support yourself financially when the time comes. That’s my whole point.
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