Being humans, people will tend to forget about other people’s deeds over time. This is especially true if that particular person has already passed away. You tend to forget the smallest details like their smile, their laughter, their smell, your conversations with them or maybe even how you feel towards them. Now, while the memory of her is still fresh in my mind, I would like to write a tribute to my lovely aunt who passed away yesterday. Some people grieve through tears, some through pain, while I grieve through my writings.
I can never forget her hospitality…
Everyone who knows my aunt knows that she’s very well-known for her hospitality. Everyone who’s ever been to her house has more or less experienced her warm reception and welcoming presence. For example, I cannot remember a time when there was no food served when we went over to her house. Be it for Hari Raya or just a normal visit, she would always make sure you have something to eat, even if she didn’t cook on that day.
I remembered there was one Hari Raya that we decided to do an impromptu visit to her house. She was visiting houses with us at that time and didn’t have time to cook for us at her home. Despite us assuring her that we’re already full, she still insisted on calling Canadian Pizza to order food for us just so that we would have food to eat when we go to her house. In fact, even when she was in pain at the hospital, she would still bother to ask her visitors whether they have already eaten and would offer them some biscuits or drinks, if they hadn’t.
I can never forget how she can cry at a drop of a hat…
I think my aunt has a leaking tap attached to her tear ducts. Ha Ha! As and when there was a slightest hint of human drama, her eyes would fill up with tears. It could be something as simple as asking for forgiveness during Hari Raya or her nieces/nephews salam (shake hands) her during their weddings; her eyes would just start welling up at such emotional moments. My sister and I would sometimes stand beside her and start counting down to the time her tears would flow whenever there was a Kodak moment. And she would never disappoint! Ha Ha! I guess it must have been very difficult for her during the hospitalisation period cos’ she would cry every once in a while as she felt helpless and would get very emotional when people salam her when they’re going off.
I can never forget her bubbly, excitable nature…
My family and my auntie’s family would always play this New Year Exchange Gift event every year. Each one of us would buy a gift for one different member of our family and surprise them with it on New Year’s Day. The rule is, we would have to keep a secret about whom we would be giving the gift to. But my aunt, being the excitable person that she was, would always find it hard to keep this matter a secret. We could just trick her a bit and she would let the whole thing out. Ha Ha! This characteristic of hers is very unbecoming of a middle-aged woman who is usually more blasé about things. She would always laugh or get excited about the smallest of things and I find it very cute whenever she does that. To us, she’s just our jolly ol’ rolly-polly aunt who brightens up whichever room that she’s in. So to see her transform from that to a sickly, fragile old woman is very painful for us. We wished we could relieve her pain but there was nothing much we could do for her other than to keep her company as and when we could.
I can never forget her lovely stories…
My aunt seems to know the whole world. She’s the most well-connected housewife I have ever met! She seems to know everyone! Ha Ha! I remembered there was once when our cars were nearly fined by the auntie parking wardens cos’ we didn’t put enough parking coupons. We were trying to negotiate with them when my aunt came over and began talking to them. We found out that she knew all of them and cos’ of that we were let off without a fine. Ha Ha!
I guess the reason for her popularity is cos’ she’s very friendly and cos’ she used to work at several places before. But I think a big factor might be due to the fact that she truly cares about others and bothers to ask after them. She loves to regale us with stories (and some gossips) about some of the interesting characters that she came across. Time spent chatting with her is always fun and entertaining. Her husband, who couldn’t stand gossips, used to call her “Makcik Quarters”, a term used to describe those old aunties sitting around in a quarters environment and sharing gossips. Ha Ha!
You can actually see the height of her popularity during her funeral today, where there’s no space at all in the house to accommodate the number of visitors that came over to pay their last respects. I used to joke with the hospital’s visitor screening staff that she would surely win the award for the most number of visitors cos’ the number of visitors who streamed in to see her was endless.
I can never forget her kind heart…
Despite being a bit of a kaypoh, my aunt has a very kind heart. Her gossips do not have any malicious intent and was never meant to harm the other parties. Her kind heartedness has been experienced by many who’ve met her. She wasn’t rich at all but her generosity really puts all of us – higher-income earners to shame sometimes. She loves to treat us and when she made some money from the sale of her house, she lavished us with lots of gifts and holidays. I will always be grateful to her for bringing us out often when we were younger cos’ our own parents couldn’t afford to bring us out as frequently. Even during her long hospital stay, she was constantly giving hand-outs to the sickly, the less fortunate and those newborn babies. This is, despite the fact she’s in such an unfortunate position herself.
The very reason why she landed in such an unfortunate situation was also cos’ of her kind heart. She does not like to trouble people and would keep her aches and pains under wraps. This went on for years until she was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer last month. She does not want to worry her loved ones and trouble them with her problems, so she chose to bear the burden herself. How I wished we had noticed the signs earlier and take actions. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be…
We will definitely miss her a lot and I know that it’s gonna be especially difficult during festive periods or when we have family outings. She will be sorely missed by all, especially her loved ones. Even just now, when I stepped into her house after the burial, I was unconsciously looking for her face welcoming me as I entered the door. Instead there was no such familiar presence. Unfortunately, this is one of those things I have to get used to, even though I don’t want to. She will definitely be someone that we’re gonna talk about and remember for a very long time to come.
Andak, we miss you, we love you and may you rest in peace. Amin.
My beloved aunt, the late Rohanis bte Ibrahim.
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